i always overreact... i have a problem with that.. im sooo f'in sensitive to things this littlest things hurt my feelings.. its SO easy for me to go from being happy to sad .... So he called me back about an hour later ..happy.. like nothing happend.. im still sour about the whole hanging up thing n wut he said.. but to him it was nothing.. why was it such a biiiiiig deal to me.. y can i just be like eww and go on with my life.. why must i dwell on the small things.... i get my self all upset.. i do this alot.. i think soooooo far outside of the box that im driving my self nuts.. I'm sure.. when he said "can you put up the 20$ so u can bring me to work" he didnt mean it the way i took it... i took it as.. i dont want to see you.. i dont like you... i just need a ride to work..i want to use you... why do i think this way.... at least i notice it and notice there is a problem.. god im gunna end up having 15 blogs a day by the looks of it..
I wound up NOT going to the gym yest... im'a bad girl i know.. i did have the worst headache tho. i think it was a migrain i couldnt stand anykind of noise or the sun... anyway that was the main reason i didnt go.. and here we are its 3:16 less than 2 hours of work to go and ill be faced with the gym. idk why certaint things r so hard for me.. i am SO codependent its not funny.. i need to learn how to be independant.. i care WAY too much about what ppl think or will say.. and that is something that is not very easy for me to admitt... it all boils down to my huuuuuge lack in selfconfidence... which comes from the way i feel about my self. im not happy with my self and i know what can fix it.. mainly going to the gym.. working out.. loosing weight. and eventually feeling better about my self and being able to no give a damn about anyone and wut they say.. that shouldnt be a reason tho... my friend had a similat prob... but it was her boobs... she is very pretty thin.. the hole 9.. well 8....she was a little lacking in the bra dept. and this kept her from wearing certain things and going certain places.. so she went n got her self a lil boobjob.. now she wears certain shirts like its her business and go wherever she wants.. its similar cuz tho i cant fix my prob with plastic surgery (well i can but im not EVEN gunna go there) they are alike in the way that she fixed her insecurities and now is happier.. may sound silly but certain things really bother ppl to a certain point where serious measures need to be taken.. anyway i know i can do this cuz i have done it b4..i lost a bunch of weight felt great looked great got hit on by every guy and his brother... then i met F and got depressed and shit went down hill..so now im back at square one... i can do this!! i will do this!!!
so this blog went from talking about how im a crazy drama queen to how i need to suck it up n get one the damn tredmill.... thats just how speratic my mind is lately..
p.s how perfect is that pic.... they just had to be moking Dairy Queen lol
until next time...
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