So I've come to realize that i can only hold in my tears for so long before they come pouring out. Sometimes it takes physical pain for me to let go and cry. I had a pretty good day today, i had just gotten outta the shower and i was about to paint my toe nails when i bumped into my TV which had a huge 5 wick candle on it, down it went and it landed right on my back. Despite the fact that it hurt like hell i just sat on my bed and cried. I cried like a little baby for a good ten minutes, and it wasn't even because of the physical pain. I didn't and still don't really not why i was crying, but i couldn't stop and i just felt sad after. On my way to F's moms house i was just kinda in a daze..a sad..daze. I snapped out of it now but, it made me realize i hold in my emotions sometimes. Not always but sometimes and i guess i just needed a good cry. It just made me think of all kinds of things. On my ride here i just looked at all the "happy" people, the people in the restaurant and the couple riding their bikes and i just wished that was us and thought to my self that i want that, i just want a normal life.
1 comments:
Awww, I understand. I have posted on this topic many times. I think, beign an "outmate", one of the hardest things is that we see the rest of the world. We see how many things are for "couples", we notice these things. It is hard to handle. I know. It makes you sad, and lonely. BUT, those are things we deal with, and that is ok too. This will pass, he will be home, and you will be happy with him again. It's hard, but you are not alone, there are so many of us here, feeling the same. Crying is good, we all need a good cry once in a while. We need to let that hurt out, that sadness. It's healthy to do so. It's ok, it really is. I am here, if you need me.
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